No one to talk to

There is no one to talk to, no one to help, is what it feels like to me. It takes me 3 hours to get to sleep once in bed, as that’s when all the thoughts bomb my mind. That is when I miss her most. That is when I am most sad. I seem to manage through the day with no one noticing. But it’s the getting to sleep which hurts. Always uncomfortable, always painful thoughts, sometimes I believe I may be going crazy. I have sleeping problems but don’t others to? But it’s the fact I haven’t gotten help about it. I haven’t managed to tell anyone that I have had sleeping problems for around 3 months and counting…
Throughout the 3 months, I have had maybe 2-3 good sleeps, and that is when I and she have called… I worry constantly she has forgotten about me or I have lost my importance to her. It seems to take a while for a letter to arrive… I have only gotten two letters within 3 months and I have sent 3… Since she does not have a way to communicate with me besides letters and the occasional phone call it makes me worry that she does not care. I have had sleepless nights worrying about her and why I am not getting a letter. Then the day came when the second letter came, after around two and a half months I finally got it. It had me scared, that maybe she does not like me, she does not care about me, but then the letter had been read over and over and over again by myself. Then it makes it more complicated… She seems to really like me, and miss me through her letters but through the time it contrasts that.
The isolation of my life. I have close friends, but always one more than the rest. She helps me with everything. But lately she seems to not care, annoyed and lastly just cannot be bothered talking to me. The reason, unknown. The cause, unknown. The answer, unknown. The only thing I know is I cannot live without her but she seems to be drifting away… Fading away in which I cannot handle. The two most important people in my life both seem to be fading away in which I cannot stop it. How does one fix two fading relationships, one in which it may be love, the other is a friendship with no comparison.
The fact that my life seems to be falling apart, with no one to talk to about it is murder. How can I fix my life when my life is defined by others around me? I do not value my own life as much as I do of others. The people around me matter more to me than my own life. That seems to be the only reason I carry on. If my life matters less than those around me… then is my life worth living? Well yes. This is due to the fact that I value my family, loved ones and friends more than anything else in my life. So to live, is for others. A hero can only be defined the lives around them. I want to be defined by the lives around me, but not be a hero… I am a normal person who has issues, far less than others, mine are not life threatening compared to some. I just know that these issues are major to me, but none the less I put them to the back of my mind and life.
So isolation… It can be helped. But not simply by surrounding someone with people… Some feel isolated surrounded by people or not. Only the right people can fix someone’s isolation. To free the world of isolation is to free the world of hatred, bullying, loneliness and depressing.

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The Distance.

The Distance can be killer. So what makes it worth it? How do we get past it? How do we fix it?

What makes it worth it? Well the fact that you know someone/ people that are completely amazing in every way is missing you as much as you miss them. That they are willing to wait a long time to spend even a few days with you. When you find someone who will wait for you, then you have found someone worth waiting for.

How do we get past it? Well visit them? If you cannot visit them, then write letters, call them, do anything you can to keep the connection strong. You just need to wait for that right moment to see them again.

How do we fix it? Well I am still trying to find that part out. But it can drive you crazy not being able to see someone thousands of miles away. The feeling the that they are just out of reach…

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Goodbye…

Goodbye’s. By definition means farewell/ leaving. Some people have experienced to many goodbye’s. How come we have to say goodbye? It is so it opens a door, to allow a “Hello”. It is painful, to many farewells, to many people leaving.

If we think about the goodbye, how we going to be able to concentrate on the hello? As the most important part of a goodbye is the hello coming after, even if it does not come for a long time. But it is worth the wait, if you think about the hello, then waiting is worth it.

Goodbye’s are emotional, sad, upsetting, but from the worst goodbye comes the best hello.

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Does it have to end…?

Does it have to end? Well as Geoffrey Chaucer said “All good things must end”. But why? Should it not be our choice if something good or bad should end?
Well sometimes to we do not know what we have till it ends. So we do not preserve what we love must. Because we take it for granted. Well I look at the things I love, admire there beauty for as long as I can. As one day it will be gone. That day is the day I dread.
But this makes me wonder, will I run out of things to admire? This thought does come into my head often, but during life’s glorious moments, I am distracted by sheer beauty that lies before me. Will this beauty leave me? Or spare me the pain and stay. If it stays I will be happy, but if it leaves then, my life will be missing a big part. So hopefully if this beauty leaves, it is only for a short while.

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True Enjoyment…

True enjoyment can not be so easily defined. As there is not one definition. How can this be? Well to every individual there is a different definition of true enjoyment.

So trying to define it sounds pointless, when it’s not. It’s something that everyone can try describe and can never be wrong. But to another it may not be right, but to that person they have another true enjoyment.

Enjoyment can be an experience, hobby, passion or job. Since no one is the same and not everyone likes the same things which makes the world interesting. And keeps us all going.

The story is real…

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Why not?

When in life you are in a situation and faced with a decision, ask yourself why not. Find reasons why not do to something. If the reasons to not do it overpower the reasons to do it then follow the reasons. Do what you want in life but make sure it’s the right thing for you.

If you are asked anything in life just think of why not. And it could change the way you live your life.

It could change your life for the better, so why not?

The story is real…

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Inspiration.

Without inspiration there would be no art, nothing would be done. We need an inspiration. Nearly everything you do requires a type of inspiration.
Some people have less inspiration than others, so naturally they are going to achieve less, so find an inspiration and become the best you can be.
Even if your inspiration is to get to best test result in the class or even be best footballer in the world. Find inspiration and from there, the possibilities are endless!

The story is real…

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Difficult?

Is it good to have things that are difficult in your life?

Well yes it is. Why you may ask. It is because easy is boring, difficult is challenging and is not boring.

Create a life where you have things that are difficult in your life and easy in your life. Something’s are good to be easy as you do not want to have to concentrate on them. But having s few things that are difficult in your life insures that it keeps things interesting.

So have a happy mixture in your life.

The story is real…

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Blank mind

What to say? When to say it…?
A blank mind happens to all of us and can make us feel stupid for not being able to answer a question or take an opportunity at the right moment.. It can change our life for the better or worse…
It can make one very nervous when they get asked a question and cannot answer it can affect someone’s confidence. It can break or make someone. So are you going to let it break or make you?

The story is real…

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The waiting…

Is it worth the wait? A common used phrase that is. Why is it such a commonly used phrase? Well it could be because a lot of things are just not worth waiting for. Which means that’s your just wasting your time waiting for something which either will never happen or will disappoint you…

So why do people even wait?
This is because there are things that are worth the wait. I can’t tell you when it’s worth it or not but I can insure you, that when it comes and it’s worth it you will know! It’s a magical thing waiting for something, then it finally comes and it’s not a let down, or a disappointment, but it’s worth the wait. So how can you tell when it’s worth the wait or not? Well think to yourself, is it going to be worth the wait through all this pain and stress… If your not sure then don’t wait to find out as if it’s a yes you will know this. So take risks but also don’t waste your time waiting for everything.

The story is real…

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